Shatter
by an-alternate-world
Summary: When Barry hears the news about Oliver, he's in the middle of processing a crime scene.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Shatter  
><strong>Author: <strong>an-alternate-world  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T  
><strong>CharactersPairing: **Barry Allen  
><strong>Word Count:<strong> 815  
><strong>Summary:<strong> When Barry hears the news about Oliver, he's in the middle of processing a crime scene.  
><strong>WarningsSpoilers:** Spoilers for Arrow S03E09/S03E10.  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>I am in no way associated with _The Flash_, _Arrow_, The CW, DC Comics or anything else related to the universe.

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><p><em><strong>Anonymous <strong>on Tumblr prompted a fic with the first sentence of: When Barry hears the news about Oliver, he...  
><em>

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><p>When Barry hears the news about Oliver, he's in the middle of processing a crime scene. It's a Tuesday morning and Joe and Eddie are interviewing witnesses while other cops wander around collecting evidence and skirting the immediate crime scene so he doesn't snap at them that they're trampling something important. It doesn't initially appear that he's dealing with anything metahuman related - simply a case of wrong place, wrong time for a victim of a mugging who apparently tried to keep his possessions.<p>

When his phone rings the first time, he half-peels off his black gloves and peeks at the screen. Felicity's face is flashing and he frowns, wondering why she'd be calling him. As far as he was aware, Caitlin had sent the DNA results back for who had killed Sarah - something that still seemed painful, and he didn't even know her that well - but it was unusual for Felicity to call him. It was also really terrible timing when he was in the middle of photographing blood spatter and collecting traces of soil and searching for skin cells of the perp.

His phone rings out and he mentally promises to call Felicity back as soon as he's done, but then his phone buzzes with a text message and he takes his glove off and frees it.

_ Felicity: _URGENT. CALL ME.

He glances around the crime scene, how everyone is milling around and not particularly aware that he's about to break a rule. At the very least, he figures he can step away from this job - it's harder to call Felicity if he's in the middle of a fight with a meta determined to kill him.

He picks off his second glove, checks behind him that he's not about to disturb a goldmine of evidence, and sneaks away to the other side of the police tape. He dials Felicity's number and listens to the ringing buzz in his ear.

She picks up on the second ring, sounding breathless. He wonders if she'd just run across the room - or if she's in trouble.

"Hey, what's-"

"Oliver's dead," Felicity interrupts, her voice quaking and squeaky. "I didn't want to tell you but he-"

Barry's not sure what else Felicity says. His blood feels cold, colder than when Caitlin had been kidnapped a week ago, and his vision swims in front of him. Oliver's _dead_? He doesn't want to believe it, he _can't_ believe it, because Oliver had been so careful, so strong, so important in guiding him and-

"Bar?"

A hand presses into his shoulder, dragging him away from the brink of despair. He wants to run, wants to run all the way to Starling City and demand to see Oliver's body because maybe then - _only_ then - will he believe Oliver's actually gone.

The hand moves to slide along his back and he peers up at Eddie crouching beside him. It's only then that he realises he's sunk to the floor, his knees splaying his legs awkwardly beneath him, his hand in his lap - the call to Felicity still connected, he's not sure if she's still talking - and the stickiness of tears staining his cheeks.

"What's wrong?" Eddie asks, a line between his eyebrows betraying his concern. Even though Eddie's living with Iris, even though Eddie seems to know he has feelings for Iris, he can see the care and concern etched into Eddie's expression.

"A close friend- He- He-" Barry can't even say the words. His composure crumples in the worst of places - on the edge of a crime scene with plenty of colleagues around him - and Eddie tries to hush him until another hand settles on the back of his head, a hand that taught him how to catch a baseball and a hand that kept some of the nightmares away for years. He tilts towards Joe instinctively and allows himself to be folded into the tight embrace.

"This isn't the time for this," Joe whispers into his ear, his grip strong to crush some of the emotions that seem to be spilling through Barry uncontrolled. "Let's get you away, okay? I'll drive you wherever you want to go, kid."

Barry's not even sure where he wants to go but he accepts Joe's offer because he doesn't want to be around people from work who will see him grieving for someone they didn't even know he knew.

Joe helps him into the passenger seat of the patrol car and disappears for a few minutes, probably to tell one of the other techs to take over processing the scene. He looks at his phone when it buzzes in his hand, his lower lip trembling as he reads the words.

_ Felicity:_ What we do is dangerous, Barry. Oliver always wanted you to know that. Please keep safe.

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><p><em><strong>~FIN~<strong>_


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **Shatter  
><strong>Author: <strong>an-alternate-world  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T  
><strong>CharactersPairing: **Barry Allen  
><strong>Word Count:<strong> 596  
><strong>Summary:<strong> When Barry hears the news about Oliver, he's in the middle of processing a crime scene.  
><strong>WarningsSpoilers:** Spoilers for Arrow S03E09/S03E10.  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>I am in no way associated with The Flash, Arrow, The CW, DC Comics or anything else related to the universe.

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><p>Joe takes him home but it's not enough. It's not where he needs to be. He feels restless in his own skin, desperate to race around the world until he's found Oliver and- and-<p>

The ache that sits in his chest makes it difficult to breathe.

He sits on the floor of his room with the Nerd Survival Kit, tears splashing against inked comic book pages and he realises that he's now essentially like Batman, like Superman, like the other characters from magazines he'd once adored. He has his own powers now, they could make comics out of him, and Oliver was like a hero too who could have had a comic book series made and now Oliver is-

Every time he tries to think it, get his mouth around the words and say them, his jaw tightens, his tongue freezes, his throat swells shut. The words are trapped by his grief and denial, his refusal to acknowledge what Felicity had told him as the truth.

The door creaks on its hinge and he sniffs and wipes his sleeve over his face in an attempt to conceal the pain that covers his face.

"Barry?"

He startles at Iris kneeling beside him, the warmth of her arm brushing against his as she loops them together and rests her head on his shoulder. It reminds him of the times she'd caught him crying over his mom dying or his father in prison or the bullies harassing him, the way she so easily folds herself into his side. It's like nothing has changed between them, even though _everything_ has changed between them. They've been tiptoeing around each other for more than a month and he's about ready to scream. He wonders if he could do some sort of supersonic scream thing. He'll have to ask Cisco.

"Iris, I…"

He tentatively lowers his head to rest against hers when her hand covers his after she's peeled the comic book from his hands. Her palm rests against his and he wonders if she'd ever be capable of realising how fast his heart beat is, how much warmer his blood is now from how quickly it races around his body.

"What happened, Bar?" she murmurs, the contrast of her dark thumb smoothing over his pale skin distracting him. He wishes she was _his_ rather than Eddie's. He needs to stop wishing that.

"I… You remember O-Oliver Queen?" His voice quivers in a similar way to Felicity's earlier. Fresh tears burn his eyes as the ball in his chest throbs with hurt. "He… I… I got a call that he…"

Iris freezes, her muscles stiffening. She pulls away from him, shaking her head slowly in denial. It's a familiar gesture – it's one Barry's been doing for hours.

"It's- There's no way that- He's not…?"

Barry doesn't want to say it. He simply offers a small nod as the tears bubble out of him again.

Iris slides her arms around him and he's not sure if she's shaking with unshed tears or if it's just transference from him. She hushes him, smoothing her hands up and down his back until some of the hysteria has reigned in.

He imagines she has plenty of questions – how did he die? what happened? how did Barry find out? since when was he so close to Oliver Queen – but she holds them, focusing her attention on comforting him instead. Her selflessness in caring for him while he's distressed reminds him why he loves her so much.

It only compounds all the pain he feels and can't adequately expend.

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><p><em><strong>~FIN~<strong>_


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **Shatter  
><strong>Author: <strong>an-alternate-world  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T  
><strong>CharactersPairing: **Barry Allen  
><strong>Word Count:<strong> 876  
><strong>Summary:<strong> When Barry hears the news about Oliver, he's in the middle of processing a crime scene.  
><strong>WarningsSpoilers:** Spoilers for Arrow S03E09/S03E10.  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>I am in no way associated with The Flash, Arrow, The CW, DC Comics or anything else related to the universe.

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><p>Barry wants to run just so he can leave this sort of agony behind, but he has a feeling he would start running and without consciously making the decision, he'll end up in Starling City and seeing Felicity and Roy and Diggle and begin to fall to pieces all over again. It's been a battle for most of the day to keep himself knitted together, to stop the strands of his heart and soul fragmenting and disintegrating to the point that he slides apart at the seams.<p>

He's not sure what happens to someone with the capacity for super-speed if they turn viscous.

After Iris leaves him with his grief, after he hears Joe padding around uncertainly downstairs, he pushes open the window and darts across town. He's blind to the dangers of the street and nearly collides with a couple of cars and at least four trucks – something likely to be far more catastrophic to the vehicles and their occupants than to him – and uses the key Cisco had given him to steal his way into STAR Labs.

He slows down as he walks the abandoned, silent corridors. His footsteps bounce off the concrete walls and he hears the unsteadiness more than he feels it. The pain he's felt for hours seems to have given way to a numbness more extensive than when he forgot his gloves as a ten-year-old and his fingers turned purple. He can feel his defences beginning to crumble, the dam that has kept his emotions in check for hours starting to burst.

Instead, he finds his way into the treadmill room and powers up the machine. He knows he should have someone here to keep an eye on him – he's pretty sure Doctor Wells would break his wheelchair over Barry's head - but he doesn't want anyone else around him right now. He doesn't want anyone else to be a witness to his grief.

He's not sure how fast he runs on the treadmill but it never feels fast enough to escape the pain that surrounds him. The stitch he gets in his side seems more piercing than usual, like it's slicing him wide open in an attempt to shove in more of the hurt. He doesn't want to imagine how Felicity must be coping. He's not sure what will happen to Starling City and the lack of their guardian angel now. Should he go to help Felicity and Roy and Diggle pick up the pieces of law enforcement in Oliver's absence? Should he expect Captain Lance to keep his police force in line so a vigilante group wouldn't be necessary?

He squeezes his eyes shut and attempts to push himself, harder and faster, hoping he can sweat out the ache until it no longer threatens to suffocate him.

And then his blood sugar plummets and the treadmill is still racing beneath him and his feet give out and he flies into the padding Cisco had put up for moments like this.

He hears the snap and cries out in pain, clutching his arm to his chest automatically. He knows it will heal in a handful of hours but it doesn't dull the agony that courses through his bloodstream. Hunching over, curling his knees towards his chest, he frees his phone from his pocket.

"Barry?"

"I-" He grits his teeth together as a wracking pain shoots up his arm. "Cait, I broke my arm again and-"

Caitlin sighs, interrupting his struggling attempt to explain himself. He wonders when she'll stop helping his injuries, when she'll just declare he'll heal fast and she doesn't need to intervene. "Where are you?"

"The Labs," he mumbles, biting his lip when he can feel her withering glare through the phone.

"I'll be there soon," she says and the call goes dead. His phone clatters to the ground despite the missed calls and texts he notices have left icons on his phone with ridiculously high numbers.

Caitlin's version of "soon" is more like half an hour but she shows up and kneels beside him, gingerly touching his arm amid his protests and cries of pain. She tsks at him as she loosely bandages it, ensuring the break will heal straight even though he has a feeling the two halves of bone are well on their way to knitting back together.

"Why?" she says as she tucks the end of the bandage under another layer and lowers his arm to his lap.

"I needed to run," he murmurs, wiggling his fingers against the prickling circulation problems that seems to occur after he's broken something.

Caitlin frowns, her hand gently covering his knee. "Barry?"

He shakes his head, still incapable of admitting that Oliver's dead. He can't process the information without feeling torn into shreds again. Who is meant to guide him now? Who is meant to challenge him to be a better hero?

Caitlin shifted to sit beside him, her fingers threading through the gaps in his own. She doesn't pressure him, doesn't make demands for answers, doesn't sit expectantly. She simply settles next to him, stroking her thumb against the back of his hand while his broken arm fuses back together.

The pain in his heart seems to recede a fraction as his arm heals.

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><p><em><strong>~FIN~<strong>_


End file.
